The accuracy…

The accuracy…

The best episode of THE FOLLOWING maybe ever?

Like seriously. Joe Carroll is a weak ass bitch whose half-baked plans always turn out to be pathetic cries for attention.

Emma gave New Guy that look like “you have no idea how pathetic this man really is. It’s almost like he doesn’t actually have the charisma or intellect to organize and lead a cult on two separate occasions.”

and New Guy gives her that look like “why are you even obsessed with him  anyway. Do you know how poorly that reflects on you that this fat gremlin stay convincing you to Deputy Prime Minister his dumdum plans. They don’t even make any sense, these plans!”

Saw spoilers for last night’s GAME OF THRONES accidentally.

I read RSS on my phone constantly, and basically if you follow any entertainment sites, and I follow a million, it is basically impossible to not get spoiled for Sunday night TV.

Like right in the headline JOFFREY IS DEAD. Well… not really. The headlines try to be coy and  mime respectfulness but if the headline is all STANDING KING OF [REDACTED] IS POISONED AND DIES!!!11!! AT HIS WEDDING!!!!!!11!

Like… I know who that is.

But, whatever. RIP Joffrey. I loved you so much and that scene where  Margaery seduces you is the only time I ever understood why this show has such a passionate following.

I guess I’ll watch the episode but I am not looking forward to it.

Caught up on BATES MOTEL, HANNIBAL and PARKS AND RECREATION
  1. BATES MOTEL is so less dark this season. I guess I miss the intensity of is there or is there not a Chinese sex slave in Deputy Shelby’s basement. 
  2. HANNIBAL is just wearing thin on me. Jack Crawford is the main protagonist this year and I have no understanding of his character or his dilemma whatsoever. I don’t know if it is the show’s fault or mine, but I do not care for Jack Crawford one single bit. His whole presence bores the shit out of me. The most interesting thing about him to me last season was that he was batshit crazy. Like Will would do all the fucked up things in the world and Jack would be “ah nah you good. just keep doin you.” So fucked up. Is that still in play? He will throw all human beings under the bus to solve the case? Like… I don’t know. What they are doing is just not working for me. 
  3. Why title the most recent episode of PARKS as Flu Season 2 if you are not going to follow through and give me some sort of call back to the flu episode in season 3. So fucking disappointing. Also, I’m still not over Ann Perkins departure but I guess Rashida Jones has better things to do like tsk tsking girls who take sexy selfies? Like Rashida Jones you need to get a life.
So glad I no longer have to go through the emotional turmoil of seeing Laganja Estranja every week on my TV.

I love how she stormed out and no one followed her.

Talking about the human race is evil cause no one had time for her nonsense…

So glad INSIDE AMY SCHUMER is back
Forever dying at people calling season one the glory days of REVENGE

Ever since the (most perfect) pilot this show has been spinning it’s wheels. Nothing of substance has happened since day one. The story elements are all basically the same. The Grayson parents pinned a horrendous terrorist attack on Emily’s father, who was innocent. Emily has snuck her way into their lives in order to avenge her father’s reputation and subsequent death. Absolutely nothing is different. 

Rose colored glasses might make season one seem amazing to some, but it was literally the same shit. The whole entire show was predicated on DANIEL GRAYSON DIES ON THE BEACH THAT NIGHT but then surprise it wasn’t Daniel. Surprise nothing ever really happens on this show to anyone who matters. And if something major does happen its always with a promise of moving the story forward, which is always a lie. Everyone’s still in the Hamptons. Emily is concocting half-assed plans that don’t do anything to anyone of importance. The Grayson family is 100% intact.

You want to know the real glory days of REVENGE?

  1. The pilot. Maybe the most perfect pilot ever.
  2. Tyler Barrol. Absolutely every single scene he was in. Remember that time he hovered psychotically over Daniel while he was sleeping? Remember when he bashed his head against the wall repeatedly just to get some sympathy points? Better than basically anything.

But I feel you. I have really loved the shit out of season 3. I very wrongly felt like it was moving towards something substantial. And when I saw that preview of Emily having amnesia I truly thought they had found a way to tell this story in a different way - shake the whole thing up a bit. I was wrong.

I think it took me until this very bad episode to realize they were slowly just putting the pieces back where they were. Nothing had changed. Nothing will change. Tyler Barrol is still dead. We will all die someday.

That sinking feeling is just me coming to terms with what I knew all along. If you have to always preface your love of a new episode/season with “they’re actually going somewhere with this this time,” then that is just a show that is not ever going to go anywhere. Because making people think big changes are coming is apparently so easy even I fell for it hook line and sinker. They are not. Daniel didn’t die in the beach. Victoria didn’t die in the plane crash. Charlotte isn’t pregnant or insane or a lesbian. Conrad isn’t an active member of an elite organization that stage terrorist attacks for profit. And nothing Emily has ever done has had any lasting impact on The Graysons whatsoever.

"I have not yet tired of seeing hot people fall in love"

Still the best thing to happen on TV all year.

I’m basically, completely almost 100% done with SCANDAL

Every season:

  1. Big Conspiracy!
  2. Your favorite character is involved!
  3. They did something terrible!
  4. Crisis of conscience!
  5. Conspiracy this close to coming out!
  6. Someone dies or almost die…
  7. It doesn’t come out…
  8. Nothing changes…
  9. Big conspiracy around the corner…
  10. IT MIGHT ACTUALLY COME OUT THIS TIME!!!!!!111!!